Hindsight

“When I was a working barn rat kid, I just wanted to be around horses. But over time I became aware of another level of barn life. I saw the fancy girls on their imported horses riding in shows. They seemed so elegant, so smooth, so refined. After that just being around horses wasn’t enough. I wanted to compete with a big time show barn one day.

I did notice that some of those girls seemed to have a bit of an entitled mentality.There’s a lot of tone deaf talk, especially with the teens. It was frustrating to hear them complain about their horses when you didn’t have half the privileges they do. All that negative talk just made me want what they had even more. Surely if I had what they had I would appreciate it!

As an adult, I finally made it to the point in my career where I was able to afford to lease a horse at a fancy AA show barn. Winters in Florida. I finally had all that I had coveted as a kid.

But it turned out that wasn’t what I really wanted. It was so regimented and there was too much focus on the wrong things. So much pressure to earn points and ribbons. To wear the “right” clothes and have the “right” tack.  I wasn’t feeling it. This was not what I had originally fallen in love with.

In hindsight I now see those girls from my childhood as the insecure, awkward teens they really were.  They were complaining because sometimes they still couldn’t win on those fancy imported horses. And they felt that pressure even if they couldn’t vocalize it. That’s an understandable feeling, when you have all the “right” things and you still can’t make it work.

These days I own a green OTTB and keep him at a modest facility. I have a great group of friends. We trail ride and do hunt paces and poker rides. We camp in our trailers and eat ravioli out of cans.  I’m absolutely loving every second of it.

Everyone is on their own path. The “right” path is the one that makes you happiest.”