Have The Fun

At some point I realized that the best gift I could give myself and my horse was the gift of “F*** it”. When we x-rayed her hocks this fall and found there was no cartilage to save, I was finally able to drop a big load of “shoulds” that I’d been carrying around for years. 

I realized how silly it was to carry all that adult ammy “we should be progressing in dressage”,”We should be able to x”, “Why haven’t I gotten her fit enough for Y”. In the great scheme of things, it’s all just crap. 

The only “should ” I owe her is keeping her sane, keeping her comfortable, keeping her fit enough to be engaged and move well. I “should” keep her educated enough to live in a world where she will be boarded, seen by vets, handled by farriers, and managed by different people at the barn safely. 

We’re having exponentially more fun now that I set down that big pile of “shoulds”, and what a shame I spent a decade worrying and driving us both towards whatever the particular barn or forum or peers thought we “should” be able to do. It wasn’t achieving much and gosh a lot of it was joyless. Not all of it, but the balance was way off. 

So don’t wait for them to be 20 before you set down all those “shoulds”. F*** that. Have the fun. Paint the glitter on the hooves, get the sparkly pad, do the goofy thing even if the others at your barn say you’re just silly, “just” a trail rider, “just” an adult ammy who never taught their horse to do Big Important Achievy stuff. 

By all means, achieve it if it’s fun! But good grief, you officially have this stranger’s permission to say F*** it well before you’re of a certain age with a horse who is also of a certain age. 

Have. The. Fun.